After the last week of freezing temperatures here in Northeast Texas, we are ready for spring, as are the guys at the Mule Barn Truck Stop. There’s something about those cold winter days that make our minds go down strange paths. Dud is on a particularly strange one today, as Slim Randles shares with us today.
In anticipation of spring, these little blue beauties popped up in a field not far from my house about a week ago – before the deep freeze. I saw them today when I went for a walk, so they are hearty little flowers.
“I know it’s fixin’ to be spring,” said Dud.
“Things budding out on your trees and stuff, Dud?” added Steve.
“Nope. Potato chip bags. Found two of them the other day.”
We looked … inquisitive? And it was enough to get Dud back into action.
“Two of them. One was stuck on that big ol’ rosebush we have, and the other one was up in the elm tree, just out of reach. That’s usually the first sign, you know.”
“Okay,” said Doc, “I’ll bite. How, Dudley, are potato chip bags harbingers of spring?”
“The wind, of course,” Dud said. “First comes the potato chip bags on gentle zephyrs. Next week we’ll probably get old garbage bags on the back wall and in the trees. That’s kinda Phase Two, you see. I got this worked out pretty good now. I’m thinking of putting it in the book.”
“You mean the Duchess and the Truck Driver?”
“Its actual title is Murder in the Soggy Bottoms, Doc.”
“Sounds like wet diapers to me,’ said Steve.
“So Dud, when does buds swelling on the fruit trees come in? Phase Three?”
“Sometimes you get a few buds during Phase Three, but we have to wait until later, usually. Phase Three I have as toys. You know, you find a dolly or little plastic truck and start hunting an unhappy kid to return it.”
“Is there a Phase Four wind, Dud?”
He smiled. “Yep. Cinder blocks.”
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Check out all of Slim’s award-winning books at www.slimrandles.com, and in better bookstores and bunkhouses throughout the free world.
All of the posts here are from his syndicated column, Home Country that is read in hundreds of newspapers across the country. I am always happy to have him share his wit and wisdom here.
Slim Randles is a veteran newspaperman, hunting guide, cowboy and dog musher. He was a feature writer and columnist for The Anchorage Daily News for 10 years and guided hunters in the Alaska Range and the Talkeetna Mountains. A resident of New Mexico now for more than 30 years, Randles is the prize-winning author of a dozen books, and is host of two podcasts and a television program.