Slim Randles is today’s Wednesday’s guest with the latest from Windy, who has never found a word he didn’t like to mangle. Still, the guys at the Mule Bar Truck Stop like to keep him around. It’s always good to have some comic relief.
It is pretty cold here in Texas today, and it was really bitter when I went out to walk my dog this morning. When I lived out in the country, I’d just let the dog I had at the time out, and she could run the five acres herself for exercise. I stayed inside and maybe exercised.
Here in the city, I have to walk Dusty, which is a good thing for both of us, but I really have to bundle up. And when I got home this morning, it was time for hot chocolate. I have some to share, so grab a cup and enjoy…
Ever since ol’ Windy began a career in radio, which is unusual for an old hunting guide, cowboy, and camp cook, he’s been spending more time thinking about things to say. His radio segment, called Windy’s Words of Wisdom, has given him new purpose.
Down at the sale barn the other day, he meandered around until he had several of the guys semi-cornered. You see, the only thing in life Windy Wilson can’t live without is an audience.
“Now Doc,” Windy said, “you watch teevee, right?”
“Of course.”
“So do I, and that’s why I’ve decided to spread out my opportunistics and go into teevee. Promote the eddiflication, you know.”
We looked at this pot-bellied bowlegged leprechaun of the valley, covering our grins with a well-placed hand.
“Yessir. I think the fantaculous world of teevee has been suffragetting from a paucity in true … stuff. So I think I’ll do ‘er.”
“What … I mean, what would you do on teevee, Windy?” Doc asked.
“Commercials. Yessir. Do you know them guys who make commercialize get money ever dang time one of them thingies is on teevee? Ever time. That’s where the dinero is. Sellin’ stuff.”
“So what would you sell?”
“Been givin’ that some thought. Think I might sell tuxeders.”
“Tuxedos??!!”
“You betcha. Ya see, how I figger it, I’ll go on teevee first dressed like this, then I’ll change into the tuxeder and show them folks at home what a difference them fancy clothes make on a real cowboy and philosophater.”
“Windy, one thing I’ll have to give you,” Doc said, “Nobody would dare miss one of those commercials of yours.”
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Brought to you by the perfect stocking stuffer for that youngster, “A Cowboy’s Guide to Growing Up Right.”
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Check out all of Slim’s award-winning books at www.slimrandles.com, and in better bookstores and bunkhouses throughout the free world.
All of the posts here are from his syndicated column, Home Country that is read in hundreds of newspapers across the country. I am always happy to have him share his wit and wisdom here.
Slim Randles is a veteran newspaperman, hunting guide, cowboy and dog musher. He was a feature writer and columnist for The Anchorage Daily News for 10 years and guided hunters in the Alaska Range and the Talkeetna Mountains. A resident of New Mexico now for more than 30 years, Randles is the prize-winning author of a dozen books and is host of two podcasts and a television program.