Mid-Week #Humor From Slim Randles

Got a late start with the blog today. Went to a Yoga class this morning, then hung around the senior center to have lunch with some friends. Yes, I am old enough to hang around a senior center. 🙂

While not all the election results made me happy, I was excited to see so many women take seats in the House. The diversity of the women from ethnic backgrounds to color is something to celebrate. That said, I was disappointed in my home state of Texas. The conservative evangelicals managed to push Ted Cruz ahead of Beto O’Rourke, and we still have a senator who will do anything for the party, anything for his political gain, anything to support the status quo of the GOP, without fully representing the people of Texas. 

Okay, now that I’ve unloaded that, I’ll let Slim take over and share his fun story about Dud and his efforts to trap animals. And just for clarification, I have not called anyone about a raccoon in ages. 

How about sharing some cookies while we enjoy Slim’s post. 

 

The latest topic du jour at the world dilemma think tank is Dud Campbell’s trap-line. It should be noted that no animals were harmed in the production. In fact, the “victims” of Dud’s trap-line probably gained a pound or two during the ordeal.

It all began not long ago now when Mrs. Miller complained about having a raccoon come around at night and eating the cat food she’d left on the back porch for Sissy.

After about five cups of coffee down at the Mule Barn, the elders there, aka the Supreme Court of Dang Near Everything, decided the ‘coon had to go, but nobody wanted to kill the thing just for wanting to eat cat food. So Dud said he’d take care of it.

About two weeks later, Dud invited the guys out to the parking lot to see what was in his pickup, and there was a ‘coon, hissing at the world through the steel mesh of a live trap.

“What did you use? Where did you put it? How long did it take to catch him? Are there more ‘coons in town? Where will you release him?”

And one by one the questions were answered. Oh, as the weeks went by, Dud had figured out the perfect bait to entice them into the trap. Oh yes, a delectable combination of peanut butter, marshmallows and sardines.

And it worked.

Soon, Dud had two of these traps working, so that he could refer to it as the trap-line and not just “the trap.” Sounded better. Before long, the score was quite impressive. Three ‘coons, one bobcat, a raven, one Persian cat, Sissy (who was released on her own recognizance into Mrs. Miller’s custody and was immediately placed under house arrest.)

And a skunk.

“How’d you turn that skunk loose, Dud?” Doc asked.

“Very carefully,” was our resident trapper’s reply. “Very carefully.”
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Brought to you by Ol’ Max Evans, the First Thousand Years, available at www.unmpress.com

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Check out all of Slim’s award-winning books at www.slimrandles.com, and in better bookstores and bunkhouses throughout the free world.

All of the posts here are from his syndicated column, Home Country that is read in hundreds of newspapers across the country. I am always happy to have him share his wit and wisdom here.

Slim Randles is a veteran newspaperman, hunting guide, cowboy and dog musher. He was a feature writer and columnist for The Anchorage Daily News for 10 years and guided hunters in the Alaska Range and the Talkeetna Mountains. A resident of New Mexico now for more than 30 years, Randles is the prize-winning author of a dozen books, and is host of two podcasts and a television program.