Slim Randles is here as Wednesday’s Guest, sharing a story about “Windy” Wilson. Windy isn’t one of the regulars down at the Mule Barn Truck Stop, but when he comes by, it’s always an interesting encounter. He likes to talk real big like to impress folks, but he doesn’t quite get the words right. Still, it’s always fun to meet up with him, if you can get away quickly.
After you finish here, you can hop over to The Blood-Red Pencil blog where we are discussing professional behavior, or not, among writers. Some people just don’t know how to rein their impulses in.
“There’s no sense a-tall,” said Alphonse “Windy” Wilson, “in climbin’ a mountain. Why, you can percolate up to the top and what do you get? Tired.”
Windy had cornered several old ladies who were leaving the Rest of Your Life retirement home to walk two blocks to the store. They weren’t fast enough to escape him.
“Yessum … them mountain climbers … why I recollectivate a bunch of them went up a Alp and fell off and killed theirselves … mortally dead, too. Why? I guess so they could stand up there in the wind and freeze and look down and say ‘Golly, what a great view!”
Windy paused and studied their faces to see if his lecture was taking effect. Hard to tell this early on.
“Knew a fella once … told me he’d climbed the highest peak in ever dang state in the union. Ever one. So’s I ups and says, ‘Well, did you climb Mt. Whitney in California? Yes he did. Did you climb Pikes Peak in Colorady? Yes, did that too. Bet you didn’t climb the highest peak in Florida. He looks at me then and says, sure did.
‘Well, what’s the name of it, I says to him. And he says it’s the pitcher’s mound at the Dodgers training camp.”
The ladies promised Windy they wouldn’t climb any more mountains, so he let them escape up the sidewalk. But then he yelled, “You know why they tie them mountain climbers together with ropes? To keep the smart ones from going home!”
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Brought to you by Ol’ Jimmy Dollar, a children’s book by Slim Randles. http://nmsantos.com/